New Blog

My blog has moved to http://jordanhewlett.tumblr.com/ 
It will be updated a lot more and more photos/vidoes and links to awesome stuff. 

If I could scream any louder I would, If I could see in wider I would..if I could be any brighter...I would

This is my last post on this blog..from on you can get them here http://jordanhewlett.tumblr.com/

Yes it's true..If I could be any brighter I would. Truth is life couldn't be any better/brighter right now (despite the fact summer died and cold ass weather is heading our way) I'm sorry I haven't really gotten a blog out to you lately, I just haven't been in the point to where I could motivate myself to post anything than a rant about random things. Well this is a blog and I'm blogging to you. Out of the 280-some views on the last real blog post I'm sure only 20 of you actually cared...now correct me if I'm wrong but I can monitor how many have my blog linked by RSS Feeds or email updated..thats only 73 of you and that 73 of you show me you can enough to read or at least know when I've posted. But here it is.

The last two weeks have been a challenge for me. My good friend (since the age of 2) who's been battling sickness for the last year or so was diagonsed cancer and given 1 to 3 months to live. We've prayed and prayed and today the good news came. His time with us is now at 4 to 6 months and if the treatment contiunes to be as sucussful as it has been he may over come it. Along with that there are just a lot of things going on in my life and in the lives of those close to me that have made this a long couple weeks. I have the hands and hearts of Morgan, Katelynn, Jesse, Tarrin, and Justin to thank for making it easier than it started off to be. I've always been there and always will be there for others and others will always be there for me. No matter the issues at hand their are always positives. From all the years I've thrown it all way and all of the mistakes I've learned that keeping it bottled up inside will tear you apart. I can't look you in the face and say I'm proud of everything I've done because I am not. But I also can't tell you I regret most of them. I've learned something from everything I've been through. So thank you to all of those who once stood beside me, and to those who still do and those who didnt used to that do now. You are what keep me alive.

Side Notes:
Antix and myself have begun the preproduction process for a new album which won't be finished for a long time but works being done. Follow the progress here http://www.myspace.com/antixlevel7

Deficit released their first single off of their upcoming album "Stand Your Ground" which was produced by Yours Truly and mastered by Shawn Grove. You can hear that and a recording of the live cover of "Kickstart my Heart" taken during my performance on 10/3/10 in Sioux Falls, SD here http://www.myspace.com/deficitbandsd

The Material will release their debut CD featuring a song titled "I'd Be Lying" co-written my Colleen and Myself on 1/11/11

Humanity is Slowly shutting down

There has been a lot of questions and such lately from those close to me about music. Well I've really spent a lot of time watching music and musicians and i've come up with one thing. Humanity is really shutting down. I've been writing lyrics from the heart as long as I can remember. Music is supposed to be about intensity and feeling, but there's no thinking behind the music that's out there today. My goal everytime I touch pencil to paper, drumstick to drum head, strum a sting, or scream a vocal is to get people to think, feel their true emotions again. That's something nobody does anymore....and not even music wise. In anything. People look for a simple answer and use their brain before their heart. I've always let my heart over-rule my mind and I always will. Emotion and feelings come before logic and your school book definition of right/correct. So all I'm saying is we need to open up our minds. I'm sick of being looked at as different or casted out for having an opinion and speaking my mind. 

JSH

There's times and things you can never change

This is has been about the hardest week to get through I've had in almost 4 years. A few days ago I recived news that my childhood friend Tarrin B. is dying of cancer. He's officially given 1 to 3 months left with us. Tarrin and I have been friends since the daycare age and since I've moved we've kept very close. He's one of those friends I wouldnt talk to for 6 months but when we did talk it was like we'd talked an hour before it. As for an update since then...Tomorrow he starts an expirmental treatment in efforts to give him more time and maybe even get him through this. Those of you close to me know what a kick in the chest this was to me and the downward spiral this has sent me into the last few days. The lack of sleep in general has killed me. I didnt eat for 3 days and and all i wanted to do was hug someone and run/walk/ride my bike. But today I'm slowly getting better. Talking to tarrin and having Katelynn, Morgan and a few others (you know who you are) there for me in helping get my head on straight. So thanks you. Also for those of you praying along with me have helped a ton and thank you all so much. 

-JH-

Thank you Sioux Falls!

Thank you to the 500 of you who attended last nights show at the Ramkota Exhibit Hall. It was great to get up on stage again and jam with the Deficit Guys. To the fans? you guys made me feel as if I'd never left thank you all so much. It was great to see people in the crowd that I saw a year ago playing with these guys. Thanks to those of you who still follow me and still follow my blog! I talked to quiet a few of you last night. Thanks to Fades Away for headlining the show. Great bunch of dudes and they put on hell of a live show! Check out Fades Away on myspace Hope to see all of you soon!

Thanks Ryan for letting me break your drumset

Deficit photo by: Steph B. 


Take another chance, its' the last time you'll fuck me

I said something in a conversation last night that really got my head on backwards. I realized that it's already october and that next month is November. The reason this messes with my head is that it's the start of what was/has been the longest/hardest year of my life. It's where my more personal songs like "Strong Arm Broken", "Karma" and "Battlefield of the Mind" were written. I'll blog more about it later as the time comes around. As for now? Life couldnt get any better. I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world and the best friends anyone could ask for. Just finished producing Deficit's new album that's planned to release in Feb. and a single to surface in the next couple months. Also speaking of Deficit I'll be filling in for their drummer this sunday at nutty's north in sioux falls, sd so be there!

Thoughts and Prayers are with you brother

Last monday a good friend of mine Scott Thomas was shot and severely injured in his bus. More on the story
I was given the chance to hangout with Scott a couple years ago and kept in touch ever since. He's a great guy, an amazing drummer and just an all around dude. Go to http://www.helpparmalee.com/ for updates on scott's recovery.

I want to hold you up so you can see yourself...I'm sick of watching you fall on your face again

Positive vibes people! Boom! haha Today is just a great day! Got up early, went for a run, got all my productive needs done and now just chilling. It's a beautiful day outside so I assume I'll be spending the majority of it out doors. I'm taking the next couple days to unwind and enjoy life (even more than I do everyday). I've gotten a little tied up in things and talking to some old friends has put the past right back in my mind but I'm done living off of what has happened in the last few years that had just destroyed me. I blame 3 people for saving my life over this time, mostly in the last year which happened to be one of the hardest of my life, Morgan, Katelynn and Jesse made things easier. Live life, that's really all there is to it. Don't hold back and enjoy it. QUIT BEING NEGATIVE! Have great weekend people!

-J-

What the fuck?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! lol Just messin' what ya'll up to?!?! Me? Well nothing much! Just thought I'd blog to you since it's been awhile since I've taken the time to just talk to those of you care. I've been pretty caught up in loving life the last few days. I've finally gotten everything to where I've been working for it to be. Finally settled into my own place and gotten the crazy moving mumbo-jumbo done. I've really been focusing on myself lately which is why I haven't blogged/Facebooked/Tweeted much lately. But...BoOOOOMm I'm back and better than ever. Now since all this post is about is me ranting on and on I'm switching gears. ATTENTION NEGATIVE PEOPLE: Nothing is ever bad enough for you to spend a day, a week sometimes a month carrying on and being depressed and making it your goal to bring other people down with you. My goal everyday is to take negative situations and find the positives in them. You should do the same. If you need help, I'm sure you know how to get ahold of me if you need somebody to talk to. Soooo with that said. BOOM next subject. Weather in the state that I live it sucks...I saw snow the other day and its fucking cold out. Like I was wearing a hardcore parka today just to run a couple errands. fuck. ps I appologize for the vulgar language in this blog. I have a mild case of being pissed off but I'm finding my positive vibes as I type. Last thing I feel the need to toss in here. 
Katelynn: Now 98% of people who are reading this are prolly going to say I'm stupid, crazy, ect. but I feel like I need to let this out. She's the best thing to happen to me in a long time and I can't express to anyone how much I love her! 
Well dayum son! looks like I'm out of time. 

That's all you get..Enjoy it..BOOM!






Breaking News: Spamming of Inbox leads to blog post

Hey guys! My facebook/twitter followers have been asking how things are going. Well my response is, FUCKING AWESOME. Today is day 8 in my new apartment and seriously, I dont think things could get much better. I'd like to thank Morgan and Katelynn for the post on my blog. You guys rock. Also thanks to everyone who's been there for me over the last few months. So this post is basically a thank you to everyone.

Thanks to:
Katelynn I. - For showing me that after being kicked down, pulled up and dropped again that there is still alway new beginnings and that love still exists. I love you.
Morgan R. - Man i dont even know where to start with you. You've been there for me like nobody else has, you've helped me keep my head up even when I was face down in the mud. Thanks man.
Sarah L. - My "Sister Seperated at birth". You also helped me through some of the hardest times over the last few months and things may have been different of your input wasnt included. Thank you so much!
Alex F. - Big guy. Always a good listener and never really angry about anything. You're an inspiration.
Sarah H. - Sister, you've been through hell and you see some sides of the hell that others dont. You helped make me moving into my own place happen. Thanks.
Jesse H. - Jesse, man you and I have been through burned bridges, horrible shit storms. You always understand without me having to say anything. You've shown me the true meaning of friendship.
Logan S. - Man we've been around it all. No matter the distance, the time. We always got it! Keep it strong bro!
And last but not least -
    Everyone else who reads my blogs, follows me in twitter/facebook, the fans of all the music projects I've been blessed to be apart of, and last of all. You, the ones who read this, and show me that somebody out there is listening, and hopefully being helped.

JSH

Jordan, Thank you

Jordan, there are few people in this world that can no matter how shitty, how terrible, how gross your day, week, month, even year is can make your smile and make any impossible situation possible to overcome. I love him unconditonally he single handedly saved my life over the last year but just being there for me. He's the funniest guy who doesn't try to be funny, and he's just a huge inspiration. He's the most responsible, compulsive, and determined guy I know of his age. I've never seen anyone be so destroyed in his own life and put that aside to help anyone in need out. Jordan basiclly this is a thank you. You're a bestfriend, brother, hero to me and many others. Thank you for all the hard work, help and support you've given me over the last few months.
-Morgan  (Now please keep in mind this was all my idea to hack your blog, Katelynn was forced to do this, I held her a gun point! Just Kidding)

Hey Jordan! I know its only been 3 months. But they've been by far the greatest three months in a long time. You not only happen to be such an incredible boyfriend, but also an amazing best friend. You fight so hard for what you believe in, you're not afraid to be different, and always know what to say when something comes up. You're adorable, tallented, trustworthy, and are funny without even having to try. You brighten my world, and being with you is always amazing. ♥ I don't know what I'd do without ya. Thankyou so much for all that you've done. And I hope you have a great senior year! Make the best of what is still to come, and life will take you far. I love you, just sayin' haha
-KMI

Excited to get back into the studio!

Well officially I've started pre-writing for my own solo album which I hope to have finished by early 2011. Now this comes with the start of my involvement in the new Deficit album and of course work on a new Antix album. Its already official that the new Deficit record will drop in early April and the new Antix record wont be finished until late March and wont drop until Early to middle May. Crazy Shit. I'm just excited to be working on music again and doing what i love to do. A tour in May/June is already being discussed and Antix's new line up will be stellar and not fucked up like the last one. I'm mostly excited to finally get this solo stuff rolling. I've been trying for a long time to release music with no influences but my own. I already have a few songs ready to be recorded into demos and maybe even give you guys a sneak peak....maybe. You can follow all the progress of this project on my new website Jordan Hewlett.com. As for everything else? I'm just as usual loving life for the first time in years. But to my true followers, you already knew that. I hope everyone is doing well as the summer is nearing the end.

It's taken a lifetime to lose my way... its taken you to Fix Me.

When this year (2010) started I really didn't know what was in store. The last almost 9 months now has been the fastest, life changing, and best 9 months of my life. I mean there are moments in the last 18 years that beat it hands down but as a whole...its been great. In the beginning of the year I simply feel apart and stayed broken for a long time. Around Late April, I met somebody who has changed the shit storm of a year. Katelynn is the best thing that has happened to me in almost 4 years..now you're like "Come on? 4 Years?" yes I'm serious. There aren't many people who can get close to me and when I let somebody close it's never really close. I just let them in enough for comfort. Well this list of people close to me is limited to about 4. Well the 4th added to that list is Katelynn. She's the most amazing, understanding and completely adorable person I've ever met. Nobody know's the secrets that I keep and nobody knows what's in my head. For 2 years I lost my grip on the other side of me that luckily nobody has seen in awhile. 26 months ago I got my grip and held on. Its was a rough ride and I couldn't have done it without the support and fight of others. I dug up the memories a couple months ago and have been working on the deepest, darkest, and most brutal lyrics I've ever written. Its going to be awhile before these surface for you're viewing but I'm telling you now. When I let katelynn into mylife it was my chance to start over, my chance to let all this pressure out and be who I've wanted to be for a long time. As I wrote out all this build of energy, depression, anger and just down right "fuck the world" it made things better. I still have the things that will always be there and I've come to realize this. I can say there has been a lot of growing up done and a lot of frustration but well worth it. There are 3 people I feel like i can tell anything. Jesse, Morgan and Katelynn. They are my support factor to me at this point and its great, I can't thank them enough for the support and for the hell they go through with me. But there is one step still missing to my Fixed state. But its happening in 9 days. I'm finally moving and finally getting away from the last big negative point in my life. My mother. Now I've never really talked about her and I'm not going to. End of story. Also the 501 people who read my last blog, and 612 people who read the one before that. You guys keep me alive and prove to me that you're really behind me, The support is huge Thank you all so much. 

Katelynn and Jordan Summer 2010

I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction, I'm right where I should be don't try and fix me

Fix me is a song written by Jesse Hasek, Morgan Rose and myself. Its takes the view of the last year and throws it into a "Then to now" and the trials we've been through. I'm mostly responsable for the chorus where it says "I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the Friction, I'm right where I should be don't try and fix me" and that comes from the last year or so of me trying to find out who I am and where I am supposed to be. Now just recently as the song was being written I found that "Right where I should be" for now and am happy here. Tomorrow Aug 20th is my 26 months alchol free. I've been together with Katelynn for almost 3 months and I really couldn't be happier. Also with "Fix me" coming out on Aug 31st with Feeding the Wolves another song on that album called "I Blame You" was written about me by a close friend and his point of view of the last two years of the things I did and the things I went through and the things I put others around me through. It really got me thinking after listening to the song and reading the lyrics. I really put some people through hell along with putting myself through hell. So to those who the last 3 years of my life affected..I appologize.

Change the world..you're changing me

You may pass a person everyday for 3 years and never anything but the occasional head nod or a "hello". You don't realize that the person sitting behind you without anything but occasional simple conversation could make you so happy. But you'll never know until you try and reach out. get out of that perfect world we all see and do something different...Where am I pulling this from? Look at yourself for one second and think..do you push to be different? at least 90% of you said no. Now why is that? Because nobody want's to be the outcast or looked down on for being different. No where does this person I talked about 5 sentances up come in? Wait a min. Somebody I talked to today called me strange and i needed to tone down the attitude and actions to become different..in my head I responed with FUCK YOU. All my life I've pushed and fought for what I believe and want/wanted..why? Because I'm tired of sterotyping, labeling and rumors. Somebody a month or 2 ago tried to put a tag on me...what did they come up with? Nothing. They had no real response to when I asked "What would you label me?" Right then and there I knew what I have been trying to do for ever has worked. Now back to the person calling me weird...this is a question asked all the time but really...WHAT IS NORMAL? My conclusion? NO SUCH THING. Looking at the media, professional physicans and such everything is AVERAGE. Come on..average? What's that? Nobody is average, normal and in no way are people the same. Which is my point. Now looking back to the beginning. I passed one person for years in the hall almost everyday, this person sat behind me on some of these days with nothing more then a hi or hello between us. Well on a random ass day I decided to talk to this person and she happened to be a very cool person and happens to make me happier than anyone has in a LONG time. My real purpose of the post is to give you this advice. Dont be afraid to step out of that world you live in and be different. 


JSH

How Well do you Know Jordan Hewlett?

FREE ASSOCIATION


I love

Life, Living being able to have the chances I've had and the using the gifts I've been given

I hate

Flying, Humid Weather, drama, old people's driving 

I want

I simply want everything (Leave it at that)

I need

My friends and fans (the few i have)

I believe

That there is a plan for us and everything happens for a reason

Money or Fame?

money son. 

Salad or Fries?

salad

Fear or Respect?

Respect is key. You respect me, I respect you

Hamburger, Hot Dog, or Tofurkey?

I really like none of them but eh i'd eat them all. 

Beach or Mountains?

Beach! Sand, Cool water, my beautiful girlfriend with me. Beat that shit! 

Feeding the Wolves

On August 31st check out the new 10 Years album "Feeding the Wolves" which includes a track titled "Fix Me" written by Jesse Hasek, Morgan Rose and Myself (Jordan Hewlett). I'm proud to be apart of the album and the heaviest 10 Years record to date. 

Thanks Guys!

Well since 3 people in the last 12 hours commented to me about how worthless my blogpost was yesterday here is a real one. First off thanks guys, you all seem to care and more people have my back and give me support then I realized and it means a lot to me. The last couple of weeks have shown to give me a lot of changes, not like super changes that will effect you guys or the ones close to me but changes that I see in myself and things that I see that are helping me. Such as the stress level has dropped and fuck, I've slept more in the last few days then I have in like 3 weeks. Thats a plus. I've been running/biking a ton lately and man that helps more than anything and clears my head. As for everything else? Things are great! I have the most amazing girlfriend in world and she's a big reason for my positive attitude on life, and not only that she's also a huge inspiration, understands me more than 98% of you ever will. Then I have Morgan, he's my running mate, my brother, best friend and all around hero. Dude thanks for everything, the support you've given me over the last year is incompairable to anything else. Even thought I helped u through a lot, I can't ever repay you for the support. Now I got sarah, she's prolly the closest thing I have to a sister, she's closer to me than my own sister by a long shot. I'm sure we're truly siblings seperated at birth and nobody's told us. We're there for each other no matter what the issue. Thanks Sarah without you earlier this year i wouldn't have made it this far, When you're at collage its gonna suck! Jesse, we've grown apart over the last couple years but man you're still the man, without you life wouldnt have been this fun! I miss you everyday we don't talk and I can't wait to see you at your wedding. As for everybody else? You all are inspiring and you help me more than anybody knows. I got an email a few weeks back from a girl about my age that I knew but only had talked to maybe once. She told me that my lyrics, blog posts and just inspiration created through my problems helped her to overcome the fear of asking for help in an addiciton. Now as of today she's 5 weeks clean and making it very well. Its things like that that keep me going and keep it my goal to help anyone who needs it. So thank you guys.

Jordan

New Website Coming Soon!

Hey guys, on august 12th I'm launching a new website. Check out the preview here

You ain't got no pancake mix!

Hello world, how is everyone today? I'm just kinda taking a Fuck the world day and getting things done. Lots of uncool stuff going on right now but as for me? I'm starting to get back to where I want to be...All that matters is that I have my friends behind me. Thanks to you guys! Morgan, Katelynn, Sarah, Alex, M!dg3t, everyone you guys rock!

I know you're in a better place but I can't get u off of my mind....

I promised you that is update more so here it is. first off how are you all? after looking at the stats on my blog a lot more people read this then I expected. I never really take the time to hear from you. so here is something I'm gonna try. any one, feel free to email me at anytime at chemicalchrist10@gmail.com or Facebook me WWW.Facebook.com/ChemicalChrist10 and talk to me. ill respond ASAP in the order I get them. so...on with the bloggidy. Right spent yesterday morning and will again Monday mornibg looking for an apartment. in a time of a lot of change in my life but all of the changes good. for the most part. sad note that Sarah @lilmunkie is leaving for collage in a little over a month but its great that she's moving forward. I've really gotten acquainted with my new band mates and we are almost ready to announce the release date for the new album. Im also just really enjoying living life for now. Made a few bad choices over the last month but ill pay the price for them. also for other things? I've got the most ardorable girlfriend in the world..BTW yes I'm taken. I keep getting asked that. common sense would say that if my relationship status says "in a relationship"...it kinda speaks for it self. well please checkout the Antix website its all new for the upcoming album and tour. u can also download the new single there free too. http://www.antixofficial.yolasite.com. as always thanks for the love and support.

This is soul, my world my heart, this is my life so dont tear it apart.

Well guys, how are ya'll? This blog needs updated more I'm tellin ya. I havent done a very good job at it. Right now life can't be beat. I have the most supporting friends, the coolest girlfriend, and the best support in the world. It took a long time and a lot of ups and downs to get here but I can officially say that today is the day I've made it. My band Antix is releasing a new album this winter and is the heaviest, most intense, more on a personal level than anything anyone has ever seen come out of us. My story personally behind the entire album is one that took a lot to bring to the table. As for now? Things are getting brighter everyday! So stay tuned as we blow an album your way.

new, old, open, closed.

Hey guys, today marked the start of pre-production for the upcoming Antix tour. Last night we released a new single titled "goodbye" to our website http://www.antixofficial.yolasite.com. and there u can find a link to download it free and also see it featured on wjrr radio. we've finished recording and writing is done. the point of this post is to just thank everyone for the love and support you've Given to the band and myself. we are all blessed to have the chance todo what we love. the new music is the most personal stuff yet but we really looking at it in a different way this time. Not to take more credit from the guys but 98% off all the lyrics I have written are songs we've done. I feel that I opened the doors to.a.side of me nobody has really ever seen. but more on all this later. thanks everyone for the support

Ok guys, you won.

Since the spamming of my email account has become stupid here is the blog you've all been asking for. The last few weeks have been a very busy one. Between recording a new record, getting my life where I want it and pretty much doing my thing here we are. The new music? Killer can't wait for you guys to hear it. (New single available 7.16.10) clip here I've also welcomed a lot of changes in myself and in my life recently and currently trying to figure it out. To my sioux falls friends..Yes the king will return on Aug 2nd with Drowning Pool. Be ready. Now on to what my blog is always about. After just finishing up writing I've looked back and saw all the disaster my life was over the last few months. I can't thank the people who helped me out of it enough. It's hard to believe but I actually had a hard time writing the new stuff because I didn't want to open the door to what I had been through over the last year. But it was the only thing on my mind. After letting out all the pressure I ended up opening up and it all seemed to pour out very quickly and very deep, looking at it now its some of the deepest, most personal shit I've ever thought of sharing with anyone but I guess its going to happen. Right now actually is a weird time for me and that's why I havent posted and really didn't want to post this. I have a few decisions to make and they're very hard ones. So please just bare with me as i pick up my pieces. The new album is expected in Late 2010 or early 2011. Tour dates are on the myspace page

All the distractions kill the compassion, suddenly fame has lost its attraction....

Well starting off with a hello! Seems like its been forever since I've dropped in on you guys. Enjoying a few days off now with a little recording tomorrow to be done and just resting after a long Oahe Days Weekend and a great show last night watching More than Heros, No Parking on the Bridge, and...somebody else cant remember. Things are still running very smoothly. It took a long time but i finally got my shit together. can't wait to get on the road and see some fimilar faces soon. Nothing really to post about today other then just hoping everyone's summer is going well. Stay tuned more soon! PICS BELOW! CHECK THEM OUT

Oahe Days

Katelynn and I..yea she's cute as hell
Alex and his "Optimus Prime"
Antix fans are the best

Thanks to everyone and holy shit can you digg???

Haha for once on a rare occasion I didnt post some meaningful or clever lyrics as the subject to this post. I'd like to start this by thanking everyone, friends, family, fans, anyone and everyone who has supported me over the last year or 2. After a long battle with myself and in life my shit is in one pile and already being cleaned up by the almighty pooper-scooper. (I hope you're having as much fun reading this as i am typing it). Being home now is different after being gone what seemed like ages but I'm back. I've met a few AWESOME friends over the last couple of weeks and I enjoy hanging out with them and it gives me a break like i need. As for Antix? The band and myself are going through a lot of changes but when it all plays out it will be awesome. We've started working on pre-writing demos for the new material which is 110% heavier and more metal than the last. SO stay tuned.
Also we'll be chillin at OAHE days like everyone else so come hangout!
My man logan and I

Nuff said

Killin it with my ginger midget

]
She's not really thrilled of cameras

"Love can be found in between the seams of life, scars, apologies."

I've been through enough to know life is rough. I can honestly say that i wish on no one the things ive seen and the things I've been through. There are only a handful of people who have gotten to look inside my mind and to be privlaged to the nightmares in my head. I've said it before. No body would believe the shit that goes on inside my head. Its haunted. Well i have finally after 5 years of living it over and over again have locked it away in a place that nobody can ever find it. After 3 years of a constant battle, 2 years of drinking my life away and now 20 months sober and no intentions of ever looking back to it i feel like I'm getting it together. I have new people in my life that have pulled me together without even knowing it. My life is in the "Waking Up" stage. Meaning that its all new to me again and i want to keep it happy and issue free which is my goal. As always I thank people who have been there and helped. So thank you to Morgan, Alex, John, Clint, Katelynn, Dena for being the ones who have showed me that there are 2nd chances and new starts. For the last time thanks to darian for showing me that no matter what there is still disaster in love and life. And for the 1 and only time only because I know you read all my posts, thank you to Ryan Scott. You destroyed my life in more ways than you can ever imagine and if it wasnt for you I wouldnt be where I am today. You are the asshole who took my best friend in the world from me and if I could I would take you and put you through the hell that you put everyone close to him through. As usual I'm a huge supporter of music so. Available now get Since October's new album "Life Scars, Apologies" and also check out Five Finger Death Punch's album "War is the Answer".

OH! I almost forgot! Antix is touring soon and on Aug 20th we'll be playing the Americinn in Fort Pierre, SD with special guests Down from Up and my former band Deficit will be opening. Tickets will be on Sale JULY 1st for $5 ADV and $7 DRS. Any lades 16+ will get in FREE because we love the ladies!

Jordan

FUCKING WONDERFUL!

For the first time in almost 3 years I feel like I'm coming together. Life is beginning to make me happy. In the last 3 years I've gone from an addicit to a insane person, to another addict and now 21 months being sober, friends in my life that make it better than I could ask for, and all the shit that brought me down gone I think I can officially say I'm happy. To those of you who will be getting an e-mail from me..no hard feelings but I hope you'll understand. I can't thank some people enough for all the shit they've done for me and I cant express my hatred to those of you who led me to destruction. Somebody the other day told me they've noticed a change and they like it a lot...since that statement was made I feel the same way and I've noticed things as well that I think have made me the person I am today. So thank you. As for my life right now? Just doing my thing. Getting ready to jump on recording for the next Antix album and hanging out with friends. I've stepped back and looked at my life and saw at what a fast pace it was moving and I've decided that I'm going to slow it down. Stay tuned for more.

Jordan

Prewiew

10:20 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
The new album Augustagein by Index case debuted in Sioux City, IA lastnight and for a US debut this saturday. The album Features the song "This City Has gotta Pay" which was co-written by Alex Flynn (Antix) and Myself. The album is the bands first release in almost 6 years so go support it!

throwing in the towel.

that's right. I've given up on holding back all the problems in my life. I've decided that fighting for what I was fighting for isn't working. so w.e

Yes I still exist

I know I've kinda been away from my blog and ect. But I was enjoying a little privacy in my life and I decided that I needed to make a change. Well I have and now I'm trying it out. Those who follow me on facebook and are lost. I am single. I plan to stay this way because relationships piss me off. Stay tuned more soon.

Jordan

"you're the reason I have to take pills to sleep."

well this post is a rant mostly but important. I started writing for the new Antix material in April but I have had a really hard time writing because I haven't been ready to open the book to what I've been through the last couple months. I really wanted to keep to myself all the shit going on inside my head. well it just happened to be I started writing and let all that stuff out in about 8 sets of lyrics. I'm still wary about using them and not sure if will. but it just got all that anger and frustrations out of my head.

That shit is bold son. All I have to say to that is boom.

I'd like to thank Morgan, Lj, John, Uncle Vinny, Clint, Creighton, Rick and everyone else for the best night I've had in 5 years. All of the bands last night played epicly. The fun before and after the show reminded me of who my real friends are and how much I miss them all the time. Enjoy the photos.

Creighton and I post show
Hanging with Morgan. Love you brother
Lj, miss you already man!
Clint, we shall ride again soon!

I hear the devil screaming..we go through hell for a reason.

Subject is one of the most understandable lyrics I've ever written. it describes my life right now in more ways than ever.

I've always believed that everything that happens to us, or anything we do whether it be wrong or right it happened to form a purpose or fix a situation in the long run. Well now is where I'm hoping that its not just jaw-boning. Recently I've made some crazy choices, had some stupid ass ideas and also had very weird things happen. There were a few things that happened recently that opened my eyes to my life more then ever. I've always looked to helping others and haven't always been able to. But when I wasn't able to I blamed myself and tried until I made something good happen. Well what I failed to realize that over the last 5 years is that I've always pushed my issues away. Well i recently made some bad choices, not exactly mistakes but not wise decisions. When I looked for something to mask them in another thought, I turned around to find there wasn't anything I could do but face them. It not only made me face them, it opened the door to all of the issues that have been building up over the last few months. I know the odds of her reading this are none but I'd like to appologize to Darian. I know nothing will ever change anything but I needed to let it out. I am sorry for wasting the last 2years of her life. Despite what the rest of my readers believe, she deserves the apology that I've typed out over and over again but deleted before sending. maybe its good i didnt..I'll never know but I know I'll never type it out again. Also I apologize to Jesse. He was always there no matter what and I pushed him away to help somebody else. Its my fault and I am sorry. Well here is the truth, everything I've done is my doing, my fault and there is nothing I can change. Alex and Morgan, my running mates. I love them unconditionally and without them I'd prolly be facedown in my pillow without a clue what to do next. Megan. Just thrown into mylife and i was very skeptical about working with you and even being friends. You proved to be somebody i could count on. Katelynn. I'm still trying to figure you out and get to know you better then I do and hopefully I get the chance to as soon as I get my own shit figured out. Now as for whats next? I'm REALLY going to take all this shit out on the ones who deserve what they have coming and start new. Just remember I love all my friends and Family and miss talking to all of you. Email me and we'll catch up.

Jordan

short yet...weird

whether most of you believe this or not I'm having problems writing for the next record. in the past all of my lyrics have been about my issues. but this time of really like to keep to myself about everything on my mind this time around. life was somewhat perfect for a short time but recently just kinda went to shit again. but like I said, this time around its really staying personal.



on a footnote. this Wednesday come hangout at the ramkota exhibit hall in Sioux falls with my good friends sevendust and adelitas way. ill be there hangout out and doing thing as usual. well more soon in a bigger better update.

Update on my life for you!

Well its true, each day is a new confession for me and each horror let out of my head is making it better. I've taken some time off of writing new music and just been doing other things. I've decided to use more photos in my blogs, i know that was a random moment to think of that. I've met some wonderful people over the last few days and been reunited with those I prevously pushed out. My advice..to anyone who ever tried to hurt you, say goodbye it was nice to know you. And its true. I myself have surrounded myself with the wrong people and it makes life miserable. Well thats it for now!

That's Katelynn and Myself enjoying a day in the sun

Warning: Morgan is the king of Chicago
My reading for the month: Zach, you the man!
These are my kinda people

What Can I say? The ladies love me

Sevendust & Adelitas Way

11:17 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
Thats right! Next Wednesday May 26th at the Ramkota Exhibit Hall in Sioux Falls, SD

Lights out, wake up, stay calm, decide Reach up, stand or be an .....

I can say that my life is about 80% away from being perfect right now. The friends I have in my life are making it better everyday. There are some major changes along this road to rack up that 20% but it will be worth all of it. kicking the ones who pulled me down has really helped and I can't be more excited for this summer. I can't really say I'm doing a whole lot but just the things I am going to do will be a blast. I'm still picking up the pieces from the last 2 months of disaster. There are few who will be greatly missed but its for the best. Also if anyone gets a chance please send a prayer to my man Morgan. He goes to court again Thursday to fight for custody of his kids. Posted below are pics from KRROfest this last weekend

Jordan

Jordan "King of Sioux Falls" Hewlett - Double Fisting it at B-Dubs


YeA Son!


Say Hello to Lacuna Coil!

I'm loving the hat! (Cristina from Lacuna Coil)

Its just a mood, another side of you...

Well my life is going in a positive direction more and more each day. I have a few new people in my life who are making it better and I also have the same great friends backing me up each day. I met a group of wonderful people in Sioux Falls at KRROFEST and can't wait to go back! I'd like to thank KRRO radio and husets speedway for putting on KRROfest this year. Well more in-depth blog later.

KRROFEST VIDEOS UPDATING EVERYDAY

Looking forward to this year, new band, new records, new tours, new friends, new life for me. I'm happiest I've been in years!

I'm jumping with excitement to tell everyone this news discussed at tonights meeting. We're planning on having a ton of demos done by aug to being recording in december, we are planning tour dates for Aug with Julien-k, including a stop in Knoxville, TN at Blue cats! yes blue cats will be finished remodeling then and we will play the grand opening. I have a new girlfriend in my life who is a huge support to me. Not my music, me for me. As this summer starts its engines we're getting ready to pop into 1st gear. Megan Bricks is back and has more attitude and energy for this next record than I've been blessed to work with for a long time. We plan to BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND this summer as we launch new stuff and start getting ready for touring. Stay tuned for details as we get them to you. Thanks to everyone for the love and support!

Jordan

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

11:14 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
Today I shall inform you of some changes being made to me, myself and mostly my social networks. My blog, facebook, myspace, and twitter is all Personal stuff. I haven't run it all under "friends only" conditions before because I want the people who listen to my music to get a chance to see what kind of person I really am. But now I have formatted everything to the "friends only" mode because of these reasons: My photos, videos and posted items have been either stolen or put into discussion by those who need to know nothing about it. I have only deleted a small handful of friends, followers and such from these places. As for the blog? I will still post them on a regular basis because I know there is a handful of you who really do care. As for fan/friend questions? You can still send me messages and such and I will answer them. This doesn't mean of you try to add/follow me I won't accept you. It just give those I don't approve of a chance to stop stealing my stuff. Also I'm still getting messages from people saying they've tried calling me and it was busy... Its called I've posted everywhere about a new number 7 or 8 times! This is the last offer I'm giving you ask for the number. KRROFEST this friday which features Alex and I from Antix, Three Days Grace, Lacuna Coil, Seether, Five Finger Death Punch, Drowning Pool, Janus, Seasons After and more. Official after party in Sioux Falls, SD with The Veer Union. Thursday night is Smile Empty Soul but we will not be attending the event! You can see our updates by following, Alex, Myself and Antix on Twitter starting tomorrow we will start posting updates for the event. Hoping to see a lot of familar faces in Sioux Falls/Brandon, SD.

Jordan

Changes again.

ok guys, short and simple post. my blog posts are personal enough I think. but yet I'm still getting questions. I do refuse to answer any questions that I feel have broken the boundry of personal and ripping my life.open.

We Need your help!

Hey guys, my band Antix and I need your support! Head over to Click here and check out the new website design. Its the final update made for the year and includes a free download for the re-release of "Bitch is Gone" and we've done so in an EP that includes 2 new tracks never before heard. There are new photos, wallpapers, and all kinds of stuff. So Please go check it out!


++++++++PART 2++++++++++
     KRROFEST is this friday and I know there are a lot of you who wont get to go. So follow me on twitter and I'll update you every chance I get! Now back to the personal purpose of my blog.

I've been making quite a few changes lately and fixing some issues in my life. If you didn't get the memo i do have a new cell phone number and contact me if you want/need it. I'll be posting a personal blog this week sometime.

Jordan

I know you think you hate me but I will always hate you more.

there just has become a point where I don't give a Fuck.

Silence.

I will be away from my blog, Twitter, I will be occasionally on facebook and a rare stop on myspace for awhile. I will let everyone know of my return when I make it. I will also not be working on any music or projects until I say i am. I happy mother's day to all the moms.

Really People??? FUCK OFF

Just to let you guys know, once again someone has been stealing my photos from facebook/twitter/myspace and have made a myspace and are pretending to be me. The account has been removed by myspace but I assume sooner or later this will happen again. if the person who did this is reading this. Message me on one of the social networks and ill tell you what I really think of you. GET A DAMN LIFE. Also brings me to my next topic.

People have been talking a lot about MY personal relationships lately. Yes I am fresh out of a 2 year relationship and yes there is a new side of me out that no one has ever really seen. But keep your comments to yourself to to me. I don't need more rumors out then there already are. I am DATING NO ONE at the time despite what you may have heard. Yes there are people that I hangout with more than others but its none of anyones business.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST. There are many people in this world who get pissed when they're judged by somebody they dont know..but they turn around and judge somebody they dont know. SERIOUSLY?? You know who you are as well so I have no reason to start throwing names out the door. FUCK YOU and keep your damn mouth shut. Other wise people are going to start doing something about it.

My shout outs today are Alex and his mother. Annie, Katelynn, Jesse, and Megan. You guys have kept me alive the last 2 days and I thank you.

And with that said I'm out....I hope everyone is doing well.

Jordan H.

Some Updates

Ok check out http://antixofficial.yolasite.com/studio-updates.php for all the new studio updates. They're going to be more frequent as we begin writing. Also a news story has been posted to the Antix news page talking about the positive out come of our new album. And last but not least. For a limited time you can download the whole album free. Here Now on with my blog post.

     So...I'm only hearing awesome comments about the new album and I can't thank everyone enough. We're blessed to have the love and support that we do right out of the gate. Our single "Instinct" has been doing AWESOME on WJRR Radio and will make its debut to 94.3 THE X in Knoxville, TN and to KRRO Radio of Sioux Falls, SD very soon. No official date yet but very soon so keep listening. Now back to the personal. stuff. (Which is what the purpose of my blog is).

     I'm currently in the process of moving. Haven't started physically moving yet but hopefully i can be moved before KRROFEST or the following sunday. Speaking ok KRROFEST follow me on twitter on May 14th to see Video, Pics, and updates about the event if you're not attending.  For those of you privilaged people who can call me..if you didn't get the memo I have a new cell phone number. Contact me on Facebook/Twitter/Myspace if you want it.

     Also I can't believe I even have to mention this again. PLEASE stop talking shit about me, my friends, and everyone. Your just wasting my time having to hear it all. It doesn't effect me in anyway other then it just pisses me off. If you have a issue..say it to me...not anyone else. Thank You.

    And on a positive note...I'm finally pulling my fucked up life back together. I pulled myself out of the finacinal blackhole, I'm moving, I found a select handful of people who actually make me happy and dont have to lie to me. My shout outs today are to Ryan, Jesse, Alex, Sarah, Katelynn, and Megan...you guys rock and without you idk where I'd be right now.

So I hope everyone is having a great year so far...Its hard to believe it's may and I'm sitting here planning summer trips, tours and vacations. Stay tuned as always.

Jordan

contact information changes

those of you lucky bastards who were blessed with my phone number before email me to obtain the new one

One to fuel food for thought

So here it goes...I haven't posted in a long time and you have let me know it. I feel like I've got writers block tonight. I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my mind that I have no idea where to start. First off, I know I've said it before but it seems some of you didn't get the message last time. I DONT CARE what you think, feel or act about me. But keep my friends, family and other people out of it. Enough said. I do care about people and their feelings. I care about their problems. Anything that anyone tells me stays between me and that person and I swear when people start asking me for info I draw the line. I've recently started A new life for myself and kicked a lot of people out, ay the same time I've carried a lot of people into my life that i believe will turn me around. I also will be moving with in the month. For now, staying in the Pierre Area and I will Graduate from Riggs High School in Pierre, SD. No more stanley county shit. The biggest mistake I ever made was changing schools. There are the SMALL handful of reasons it benifits but it doesnt out weigh the number of negative reasons. Hopefully during the summer of 2011 I will be moving to Sioux Falls, SD or surrounding areas. No official statements yet but thats the plan.
     Relationships. People, I everyone has them, nothing special. I know A LOT of you were shocked and questioned the splitting of Darian and I. I know some of you thought she was pretty cool. a little over 2 years really tossed away and benifited 1 person I can think of. Not Darian, but she knows who she is and I hope she's reading this. If not, I guess its another person counted on my "tossed" list. That would hurt. Now everyone was confused by my week and a half long dating of Sarah. The reason for that ending so suddenly was because Sarah and I were too good of friends for a relationship to work. Rumor is on the street that Sarah used Darian to get to me....I can't say it isn't true because I really have no idea. I hope not because if so Bitch Move. Other rumors on the street have included things that I could put my life on that never ;happened. But its my word vs. theirs...and to some, (I have given them a reason) my word doesnt meanmuch. Like I've said time and time again. E-Mail me if you want the facts: chemicalchrist10@gmail.com. This is the last time darian, sarah, and those relationships will ever be publicly shared.
    Mistakes. We all make them, some more severe than others but..it happens. Well actually today I made one of mine. I will not share the mistake but those involved will know what I'm talking about. It never should of happened, it was wrong of me, and I question why the other(s) went along. Unless I missed something? Confusion. I feel like I've wronged so many people lately.
      THANK YOU. I can't thank Alex and his mother for everything they've done thus far. They're helping me with something I really did want to ask help with. Also thanks to Jesse, Morgan, Ryan and Sarah for being such awesome friends and always listening. Thanks to the 3 glasses of wine that helped me though this post.
I know I've been anti-drinking for the last 18 months but I will continue the counter. as long as I dont end up like before...I'll be alright. I hope everyone keeps it real. Stay tuned.

Time to be alive!

Tomorrow is the official release day of my bands new EP album Overdose on Information. It took us about 3 1/2 months to write and record and we are very pleased with what has resulted. We are releasing it in a hand-full of hard copies and of course the unlimited amount of digital copies. I'm also giving away the 1 and ONLY limited edition Blue Version of the album which features a second disc with some pretty sweet shit. Just direct message me by e-mail, on twitter, or the antix twitter. We launched a new website this morning in support of the album and we will update it on a regular basis with blogs, news, and coming very soon..even video. I'm even going to start pulling video up on this blog for you guys. Hopefully weekly. Um...in other news...I'm apartment shopping. Needing a new place and have found a couple I like and can afford! (yes in case you're asking I work and walmart..and yes it's a badass place to work..you should try it instead of stalking my blogs 24/7) Well I believe that all I have for you today. Take care and peace out homies! Don't forget...PROMOTE THE ALBUM

Jordan

Also add me on: Myspace and Facebook

Colleen and the Material cover "Speechless"

11:23 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
Hey Guys, check this out. My friend and her band covering "Speechless" by Lady Gaga. Follow her on Twitter @colleen52

Just for fun

Please don't take my actions..so serious

Just woke up today with a shit-storm of thoughts, questions and just weird ass mood. There is a lot of stuff starting to happen in my life and memories coming back that shouldn't be coming back. I've begun really writing again for the next album coming this fall or early next year and the stuff is very organized and flows together nicely. Which if you're a writer/musician then you know that something is going on. Everything is so focused and seems to be following the same path i was following a couple years ago and at the time there was a lot of shit going on that torn me apart at the time. Once again I'm stuck with no answers to why these random moods hit or why I feel alone when I'm not. I'll start leaking clips of lyrics, song demos and videos as the rest of the writing process goes on. Thank you to everyone who not only has support my music but also supported me. There aren't many of you who support me left. Its my fault and I pay that price for it everyday. Hopefully my next blog will be full of happy thoughts and good news. Until then stay tuned and hold on..its going to be a bumpy ride.





Please don't take my actions so serious
its driving me fucking delierous 
I'm not trying to me be your god, or savior
A little uncomfortable in the skin of an entertainer
I'm just an artist with expression through ink on paper 
and music through players, that you may relate to
Thats why i thank you. 

I can't believe it's happening to me

So what's up guys? Since I haven't blogged in a couple days i thought i better fill you in. I'm in Sioux Falls, SD right now just chillin' at @lilmunkie's sister's house. Its been one of those rainy, boring yet eventful days. I'm hoping Josh can finish out his 18th birthday with just a minor headache. Long story. I've been in a great happy ass mood the last few days and I could tell you why but...eh, ya I'll tell you. I'm dating this AMAZING girl named Sarah. In case you cared. Well I'm out.

Jordan

Aliums are Aliens made from Aluminum

Well hello! This post is the first in a long ass time that isn't going to be 100% bitchy and negative. Yes there are still negative things happening to me and shit needing fine-tuned in mylife but today isnt for them. I woke up in a strangely awesome mood. WARNING: I'm also in one of those super smart-ass moods too! lol. Has anyone see the movie Sherlock Holmes? If not you need to. anyway in the movie Sherlock has a smart-ass personality, in the last 2 weeks, 4 people have told me thats me minus the badass, skills he has. I've never compared myself to a movie character before but I do see what they mean. Moving on. A.D.D moment [My friends in Sevendust released a new album yesterday and you should get it on itunes] Again moving on. My band/musical adventure Antix is releasing our first EP in 1 week! Be ready i'll post links and stuff at later times. My issues with Alltel have come to and end, I'm ditching their service as soon as possible. Not that any of you care but I thought I'd let you know. I know I haven't up dated "my journey through a blackberry tour" photo album and I'll be getting to that soon..maybe even today. I have a ton of pictures to upload. Does anyone else use twitter? If you do, please click here to follow me. lol also facebook? In case any of you care, i do have a new real job and I love it so far. Yes I did copy @lilmunkie and @LuNcH_BoXx and now work at walmart but who cares right? Also this is a big one! I'm looking for any app ideas for iPhone/iTouch, if you have any drop a comment on this post or e-mail me  Well that's all i have for you on this bloggity post. I hope everyone's spring is going well!

Jordan Hewlett

Side Note: Please keep Todd Newton and his family in your thoughts and prayers. His was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and took a turn for the worse yesterday.

Cold Day Memory: Karma, Ride Insane, & Strong Arm Broken

Avaliable in like 40 min is the new album from my great friends in Sevendust. My lyrics are featured in 3 songs on this album. The tracks are Karma, Ride Insane and Strong Arm Broken

When I'm near

Hey guys, I just wanted to toss this out, thank you too: @LuNcH_BoXx @lilmunkie @brokenheartsoul @mralienfreak @rynsk and everyone else who a has been there for me. OVer the last few months I've slowly been torn apart. i've pushed away some of the most important people and pulled others who really don't matter in. I let my guard down for the first time in years and ended up hurting myself. The ones involved are prolly reading this but i dont want it to bother them...it was my fault and I dont want anyone to blame them-selves for my problems. i've looked over my recent lyrics and looked way back to my old stuff and I'm starting to see a pattern. I'm again where I can't figure out what's next and that shit's going to get worse. This blog isnt to tell you to worry but I'm just saying I'm changing and nothing anyone is going to do/say to stop it. Once again I'm going to be my brick wall, asshole, jerk, prick, douchebag or anyother childish word you want to throw at me. I wont be effected my your comments and messages.

Jordan

Here it goes (2nd blog )

7:14 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
Alright guys, this is what you want/need to know. I was planning on moving to Sioux Falls by the end of June or early July but as of right now, not happening. I started a new job yesterday and to transfer to the Sioux Falls location I must be employed for 6 months, now if I decided to quit this job or anything I will move right away. So this bumps my moving date to mid-october early november. Which still isnt a horrible think. I could stay here with @LuNcH_BoXx and @lilmunkie and all my other close friends in the Pierre/Fort Pierre Area. Right now I'm stuck in a situation where I'm getting ass fucked finacialy, and the person doing so doesn't even have the common-coursity to give me a reach around. Thanks to @LuNcH_BoXx right now because he's the only one left who's trying to help me fix the situation. Not that others didnt but everyone else has failed or walked out. On the brighter side of things I'm looking forward to @LuNcH_BoXx's and I's first album release with our new project Antix. Its titled Overdose on Information and will be available on Wednesday, April 28, 2010. You can check out our new single Instinct here on our myspace.

In other news, RANT: Once again Alltel Wireless has fucked me over and it has been the LAST time. Looking into At&t right now not only because I can have an iPhone but their rates are cheeper, they have faster 4G networks and it really does work in Pierre, SD. So if out of no where I'm telling you of a Cell Phone number change don't panic. But as of right now It's going to be awhile.

THANK YOU to all of my friends, you guys rock and are always there for me. I'm always here for you and even if we aren't the best of friends I'm still here to talk to.

Jordan

The china man is not the issue here...

Once again today has marked a load of changes in my life. Started a new job and after day 1 i really enjoy it. It also just happens to be the day where I had so much running through my head that i couldnt focus during my down times and breaks. Nothing that anyone reading this will know about but just a lot. I really just wanted to tell you that I'm letting the cat out of the bag tonight and I'll post a LONG post later.

Jordan

Information

1:07 AM Posted by Jordan H 0 comments
This post is to inform everyone that I will be busy and away from my phone and computer starting 8am tomorrow morning until 5pm the following evening. If you need to talk to me text me, call me, bbm me, facebook me or email me: chemicalchrist10@gmail.com and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Jordan

You can build a life and have it broken down

Let us be realistic. I can be 99.9% positive that over 70% of the people reading my posts haven't been through what I have in my life. Now there are those of you who are like "You're only 18, Blah blah blah...) My response: BULLSHIT. Before you start telling me about My life let us talk. Somebody told me in a message response to my last post that "You just rant about things you see on TV and things you hear in the news" well let me correct that statement. I don't watch TV. I avoid most news at all cost because over 50% of the time they are wrong. I don't watch reality TV because its the exact opposite of reality. Everything that is broadcasted in those shows has been scripted, proof-read, and edited for TV/household friendly viewing. The truth is, and yes coming from a movie quote, Nothing ever bad happens with out the world's governments approval. If they don't want us to know about something, we don't every know about it. But just because its a movie quote doesn't mean it isn't true. Moving on if I can...Another message was "You're 18, teenagers don't have problems..i was a teen once" -- Is this guy kidding me? hello Mr. You must have lived a VERY sheltered life to believe the horse shit you just fed me. I have been through a lot and only a selected handful of you reading this fully understand. For example, a abusive father who beat you for no reason..an addiction to alchol so bad you don't remember your freshman year. Thats my life. A friend who died within 10 ft you because of gang violence. When those problems hit you on a personal level then we can actually talk. Those of you who recently keep telling me that my friends aren't who I say they are, try me. I can prove to you in more ways than one that they are. and because of who they are and what they do doesn't make me special. I could careless what profession they are in, they have been there for me since before that time. So before you run your mouth let me say this: You need to live a life that mine has no part of. My friends are my friends and there is nothing that will change this. I hope you learn something out of this.