When this year (2010) started I really didn't know what was in store. The last almost 9 months now has been the fastest, life changing, and best 9 months of my life. I mean there are moments in the last 18 years that beat it hands down but as a whole...its been great. In the beginning of the year I simply feel apart and stayed broken for a long time. Around Late April, I met somebody who has changed the shit storm of a year. Katelynn is the best thing that has happened to me in almost 4 years..now you're like "Come on? 4 Years?" yes I'm serious. There aren't many people who can get close to me and when I let somebody close it's never really close. I just let them in enough for comfort. Well this list of people close to me is limited to about 4. Well the 4th added to that list is Katelynn. She's the most amazing, understanding and completely adorable person I've ever met. Nobody know's the secrets that I keep and nobody knows what's in my head. For 2 years I lost my grip on the other side of me that luckily nobody has seen in awhile. 26 months ago I got my grip and held on. Its was a rough ride and I couldn't have done it without the support and fight of others. I dug up the memories a couple months ago and have been working on the deepest, darkest, and most brutal lyrics I've ever written. Its going to be awhile before these surface for you're viewing but I'm telling you now. When I let katelynn into mylife it was my chance to start over, my chance to let all this pressure out and be who I've wanted to be for a long time. As I wrote out all this build of energy, depression, anger and just down right "fuck the world" it made things better. I still have the things that will always be there and I've come to realize this. I can say there has been a lot of growing up done and a lot of frustration but well worth it. There are 3 people I feel like i can tell anything. Jesse, Morgan and Katelynn. They are my support factor to me at this point and its great, I can't thank them enough for the support and for the hell they go through with me. But there is one step still missing to my Fixed state. But its happening in 9 days. I'm finally moving and finally getting away from the last big negative point in my life. My mother. Now I've never really talked about her and I'm not going to. End of story. Also the 501 people who read my last blog, and 612 people who read the one before that. You guys keep me alive and prove to me that you're really behind me, The support is huge Thank you all so much.
Katelynn and Jordan Summer 2010
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