Subject is one of the most understandable lyrics I've ever written. it describes my life right now in more ways than ever.
I've always believed that everything that happens to us, or anything we do whether it be wrong or right it happened to form a purpose or fix a situation in the long run. Well now is where I'm hoping that its not just jaw-boning. Recently I've made some crazy choices, had some stupid ass ideas and also had very weird things happen. There were a few things that happened recently that opened my eyes to my life more then ever. I've always looked to helping others and haven't always been able to. But when I wasn't able to I blamed myself and tried until I made something good happen. Well what I failed to realize that over the last 5 years is that I've always pushed my issues away. Well i recently made some bad choices, not exactly mistakes but not wise decisions. When I looked for something to mask them in another thought, I turned around to find there wasn't anything I could do but face them. It not only made me face them, it opened the door to all of the issues that have been building up over the last few months. I know the odds of her reading this are none but I'd like to appologize to Darian. I know nothing will ever change anything but I needed to let it out. I am sorry for wasting the last 2years of her life. Despite what the rest of my readers believe, she deserves the apology that I've typed out over and over again but deleted before sending. maybe its good i didnt..I'll never know but I know I'll never type it out again. Also I apologize to Jesse. He was always there no matter what and I pushed him away to help somebody else. Its my fault and I am sorry. Well here is the truth, everything I've done is my doing, my fault and there is nothing I can change. Alex and Morgan, my running mates. I love them unconditionally and without them I'd prolly be facedown in my pillow without a clue what to do next. Megan. Just thrown into mylife and i was very skeptical about working with you and even being friends. You proved to be somebody i could count on. Katelynn. I'm still trying to figure you out and get to know you better then I do and hopefully I get the chance to as soon as I get my own shit figured out. Now as for whats next? I'm REALLY going to take all this shit out on the ones who deserve what they have coming and start new. Just remember I love all my friends and Family and miss talking to all of you. Email me and we'll catch up.
Jordan
I've always believed that everything that happens to us, or anything we do whether it be wrong or right it happened to form a purpose or fix a situation in the long run. Well now is where I'm hoping that its not just jaw-boning. Recently I've made some crazy choices, had some stupid ass ideas and also had very weird things happen. There were a few things that happened recently that opened my eyes to my life more then ever. I've always looked to helping others and haven't always been able to. But when I wasn't able to I blamed myself and tried until I made something good happen. Well what I failed to realize that over the last 5 years is that I've always pushed my issues away. Well i recently made some bad choices, not exactly mistakes but not wise decisions. When I looked for something to mask them in another thought, I turned around to find there wasn't anything I could do but face them. It not only made me face them, it opened the door to all of the issues that have been building up over the last few months. I know the odds of her reading this are none but I'd like to appologize to Darian. I know nothing will ever change anything but I needed to let it out. I am sorry for wasting the last 2years of her life. Despite what the rest of my readers believe, she deserves the apology that I've typed out over and over again but deleted before sending. maybe its good i didnt..I'll never know but I know I'll never type it out again. Also I apologize to Jesse. He was always there no matter what and I pushed him away to help somebody else. Its my fault and I am sorry. Well here is the truth, everything I've done is my doing, my fault and there is nothing I can change. Alex and Morgan, my running mates. I love them unconditionally and without them I'd prolly be facedown in my pillow without a clue what to do next. Megan. Just thrown into mylife and i was very skeptical about working with you and even being friends. You proved to be somebody i could count on. Katelynn. I'm still trying to figure you out and get to know you better then I do and hopefully I get the chance to as soon as I get my own shit figured out. Now as for whats next? I'm REALLY going to take all this shit out on the ones who deserve what they have coming and start new. Just remember I love all my friends and Family and miss talking to all of you. Email me and we'll catch up.
Jordan
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