Jordan Hewlett

My blog has moved to http://jordanhewlett.tumblr.com/ 

This is my last post on this blog..from on you can get them here http://jordanhewlett.tumblr.com/

Yes it's true..If I could be any brighter I would. Truth is life couldn't be any better/brighter right now (despite the fact summer died and cold ass weather is heading our way) I'm sorry I haven't really gotten a blog out to you lately, I just haven't been in the point to where I could motivate myself to post anything than a rant about random things. Well this is a blog and I'm blogging to you. Out of the 280-some views on the last real blog post I'm sure only 20 of you actually cared...now correct me if I'm wrong but I can monitor how many have my blog linked by RSS Feeds or email updated..thats only 73 of you and that 73 of you show me you can enough to read or at least know when I've posted. But here it is.

The last two weeks have been a challenge for me. My good friend (since the age of 2) who's been battling sickness for the last year or so was diagonsed cancer and given 1 to 3 months to live. We've prayed and prayed and today the good news came. His time with us is now at 4 to 6 months and if the treatment contiunes to be as sucussful as it has been he may over come it. Along with that there are just a lot of things going on in my life and in the lives of those close to me that have made this a long couple weeks. I have the hands and hearts of Morgan, Katelynn, Jesse, Tarrin, and Justin to thank for making it easier than it started off to be. I've always been there and always will be there for others and others will always be there for me. No matter the issues at hand their are always positives. From all the years I've thrown it all way and all of the mistakes I've learned that keeping it bottled up inside will tear you apart. I can't look you in the face and say I'm proud of everything I've done because I am not. But I also can't tell you I regret most of them. I've learned something from everything I've been through. So thank you to all of those who once stood beside me, and to those who still do and those who didnt used to that do now. You are what keep me alive.

Side Notes:
Antix and myself have begun the preproduction process for a new album which won't be finished for a long time but works being done. Follow the progress here http://www.myspace.com/antixlevel7

Deficit released their first single off of their upcoming album "Stand Your Ground" which was produced by Yours Truly and mastered by Shawn Grove. You can hear that and a recording of the live cover of "Kickstart my Heart" taken during my performance on 10/3/10 in Sioux Falls, SD here http://www.myspace.com/deficitbandsd

The Material will release their debut CD featuring a song titled "I'd Be Lying" co-written my Colleen and Myself on 1/11/11

Thank you to the 500 of you who attended last nights show at the Ramkota Exhibit Hall. It was great to get up on stage again and jam with the Deficit Guys. To the fans? you guys made me feel as if I'd never left thank you all so much. It was great to see people in the crowd that I saw a year ago playing with these guys. Thanks to those of you who still follow me and still follow my blog! I talked to quiet a few of you last night. Thanks to Fades Away for headlining the show. Great bunch of dudes and they put on hell of a live show! Check out Fades Away on myspace Hope to see all of you soon!

I said something in a conversation last night that really got my head on backwards. I realized that it's already october and that next month is November. The reason this messes with my head is that it's the start of what was/has been the longest/hardest year of my life. It's where my more personal songs like "Strong Arm Broken", "Karma" and "Battlefield of the Mind" were written. I'll blog more about it later as the time comes around. As for now? Life couldnt get any better. I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world and the best friends anyone could ask for. Just finished producing Deficit's new album that's planned to release in Feb. and a single to surface in the next couple months. Also speaking of Deficit I'll be filling in for their drummer this sunday at nutty's north in sioux falls, sd so be there!

Last monday a good friend of mine Scott Thomas was shot and severely injured in his bus. More on the story
I was given the chance to hangout with Scott a couple years ago and kept in touch ever since. He's a great guy, an amazing drummer and just an all around dude. Go to http://www.helpparmalee.com/ for updates on scott's recovery.

Positive vibes people! Boom! haha Today is just a great day! Got up early, went for a run, got all my productive needs done and now just chilling. It's a beautiful day outside so I assume I'll be spending the majority of it out doors. I'm taking the next couple days to unwind and enjoy life (even more than I do everyday). I've gotten a little tied up in things and talking to some old friends has put the past right back in my mind but I'm done living off of what has happened in the last few years that had just destroyed me. I blame 3 people for saving my life over this time, mostly in the last year which happened to be one of the hardest of my life, Morgan, Katelynn and Jesse made things easier. Live life, that's really all there is to it. Don't hold back and enjoy it. QUIT BEING NEGATIVE! Have great weekend people!

-J-

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! lol Just messin' what ya'll up to?!?! Me? Well nothing much! Just thought I'd blog to you since it's been awhile since I've taken the time to just talk to those of you care. I've been pretty caught up in loving life the last few days. I've finally gotten everything to where I've been working for it to be. Finally settled into my own place and gotten the crazy moving mumbo-jumbo done. I've really been focusing on myself lately which is why I haven't blogged/Facebooked/Tweeted much lately. But...BoOOOOMm I'm back and better than ever. Now since all this post is about is me ranting on and on I'm switching gears. ATTENTION NEGATIVE PEOPLE: Nothing is ever bad enough for you to spend a day, a week sometimes a month carrying on and being depressed and making it your goal to bring other people down with you. My goal everyday is to take negative situations and find the positives in them. You should do the same. If you need help, I'm sure you know how to get ahold of me if you need somebody to talk to. Soooo with that said. BOOM next subject. Weather in the state that I live it sucks...I saw snow the other day and its fucking cold out. Like I was wearing a hardcore parka today just to run a couple errands. fuck. ps I appologize for the vulgar language in this blog. I have a mild case of being pissed off but I'm finding my positive vibes as I type. Last thing I feel the need to toss in here. 

Hey guys! My facebook/twitter followers have been asking how things are going. Well my response is, FUCKING AWESOME. Today is day 8 in my new apartment and seriously, I dont think things could get much better. I'd like to thank Morgan and Katelynn for the post on my blog. You guys rock. Also thanks to everyone who's been there for me over the last few months. So this post is basically a thank you to everyone.

Thanks to:
Katelynn I. - For showing me that after being kicked down, pulled up and dropped again that there is still alway new beginnings and that love still exists. I love you.
Morgan R. - Man i dont even know where to start with you. You've been there for me like nobody else has, you've helped me keep my head up even when I was face down in the mud. Thanks man.
Sarah L. - My "Sister Seperated at birth". You also helped me through some of the hardest times over the last few months and things may have been different of your input wasnt included. Thank you so much!
Alex F. - Big guy. Always a good listener and never really angry about anything. You're an inspiration.
Sarah H. - Sister, you've been through hell and you see some sides of the hell that others dont. You helped make me moving into my own place happen. Thanks.
Jesse H. - Jesse, man you and I have been through burned bridges, horrible shit storms. You always understand without me having to say anything. You've shown me the true meaning of friendship.
Logan S. - Man we've been around it all. No matter the distance, the time. We always got it! Keep it strong bro!
And last but not least -
    Everyone else who reads my blogs, follows me in twitter/facebook, the fans of all the music projects I've been blessed to be apart of, and last of all. You, the ones who read this, and show me that somebody out there is listening, and hopefully being helped.

JSH

Jordan, there are few people in this world that can no matter how shitty, how terrible, how gross your day, week, month, even year is can make your smile and make any impossible situation possible to overcome. I love him unconditonally he single handedly saved my life over the last year but just being there for me. He's the funniest guy who doesn't try to be funny, and he's just a huge inspiration. He's the most responsible, compulsive, and determined guy I know of his age. I've never seen anyone be so destroyed in his own life and put that aside to help anyone in need out. Jordan basiclly this is a thank you. You're a bestfriend, brother, hero to me and many others. Thank you for all the hard work, help and support you've given me over the last few months.
-Morgan  (Now please keep in mind this was all my idea to hack your blog, Katelynn was forced to do this, I held her a gun point! Just Kidding)

Hey Jordan! I know its only been 3 months. But they've been by far the greatest three months in a long time. You not only happen to be such an incredible boyfriend, but also an amazing best friend. You fight so hard for what you believe in, you're not afraid to be different, and always know what to say when something comes up. You're adorable, tallented, trustworthy, and are funny without even having to try. You brighten my world, and being with you is always amazing. ♥ I don't know what I'd do without ya. Thankyou so much for all that you've done. And I hope you have a great senior year! Make the best of what is still to come, and life will take you far. I love you, just sayin' haha
-KMI

Well officially I've started pre-writing for my own solo album which I hope to have finished by early 2011. Now this comes with the start of my involvement in the new Deficit album and of course work on a new Antix album. Its already official that the new Deficit record will drop in early April and the new Antix record wont be finished until late March and wont drop until Early to middle May. Crazy Shit. I'm just excited to be working on music again and doing what i love to do. A tour in May/June is already being discussed and Antix's new line up will be stellar and not fucked up like the last one. I'm mostly excited to finally get this solo stuff rolling. I've been trying for a long time to release music with no influences but my own. I already have a few songs ready to be recorded into demos and maybe even give you guys a sneak peak....maybe. You can follow all the progress of this project on my new website Jordan Hewlett.com. As for everything else? I'm just as usual loving life for the first time in years. But to my true followers, you already knew that. I hope everyone is doing well as the summer is nearing the end.

When this year (2010) started I really didn't know what was in store. The last almost 9 months now has been the fastest, life changing, and best 9 months of my life. I mean there are moments in the last 18 years that beat it hands down but as a whole...its been great. In the beginning of the year I simply feel apart and stayed broken for a long time. Around Late April, I met somebody who has changed the shit storm of a year. Katelynn is the best thing that has happened to me in almost 4 years..now you're like "Come on? 4 Years?" yes I'm serious. There aren't many people who can get close to me and when I let somebody close it's never really close. I just let them in enough for comfort. Well this list of people close to me is limited to about 4. Well the 4th added to that list is Katelynn. She's the most amazing, understanding and completely adorable person I've ever met. Nobody know's the secrets that I keep and nobody knows what's in my head. For 2 years I lost my grip on the other side of me that luckily nobody has seen in awhile. 26 months ago I got my grip and held on. Its was a rough ride and I couldn't have done it without the support and fight of others. I dug up the memories a couple months ago and have been working on the deepest, darkest, and most brutal lyrics I've ever written. Its going to be awhile before these surface for you're viewing but I'm telling you now. When I let katelynn into mylife it was my chance to start over, my chance to let all this pressure out and be who I've wanted to be for a long time. As I wrote out all this build of energy, depression, anger and just down right "fuck the world" it made things better. I still have the things that will always be there and I've come to realize this. I can say there has been a lot of growing up done and a lot of frustration but well worth it. There are 3 people I feel like i can tell anything. Jesse, Morgan and Katelynn. They are my support factor to me at this point and its great, I can't thank them enough for the support and for the hell they go through with me. But there is one step still missing to my Fixed state. But its happening in 9 days. I'm finally moving and finally getting away from the last big negative point in my life. My mother. Now I've never really talked about her and I'm not going to. End of story. Also the 501 people who read my last blog, and 612 people who read the one before that. You guys keep me alive and prove to me that you're really behind me, The support is huge Thank you all so much. 

Fix me is a song written by Jesse Hasek, Morgan Rose and myself. Its takes the view of the last year and throws it into a "Then to now" and the trials we've been through. I'm mostly responsable for the chorus where it says "I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the Friction, I'm right where I should be don't try and fix me" and that comes from the last year or so of me trying to find out who I am and where I am supposed to be. Now just recently as the song was being written I found that "Right where I should be" for now and am happy here. Tomorrow Aug 20th is my 26 months alchol free. I've been together with Katelynn for almost 3 months and I really couldn't be happier. Also with "Fix me" coming out on Aug 31st with Feeding the Wolves another song on that album called "I Blame You" was written about me by a close friend and his point of view of the last two years of the things I did and the things I went through and the things I put others around me through. It really got me thinking after listening to the song and reading the lyrics. I really put some people through hell along with putting myself through hell. So to those who the last 3 years of my life affected..I appologize.

You may pass a person everyday for 3 years and never anything but the occasional head nod or a "hello". You don't realize that the person sitting behind you without anything but occasional simple conversation could make you so happy. But you'll never know until you try and reach out. get out of that perfect world we all see and do something different...Where am I pulling this from? Look at yourself for one second and think..do you push to be different? at least 90% of you said no. Now why is that? Because nobody want's to be the outcast or looked down on for being different. No where does this person I talked about 5 sentances up come in? Wait a min. Somebody I talked to today called me strange and i needed to tone down the attitude and actions to become different..in my head I responed with FUCK YOU. All my life I've pushed and fought for what I believe and want/wanted..why? Because I'm tired of sterotyping, labeling and rumors. Somebody a month or 2 ago tried to put a tag on me...what did they come up with? Nothing. They had no real response to when I asked "What would you label me?" Right then and there I knew what I have been trying to do for ever has worked. Now back to the person calling me weird...this is a question asked all the time but really...WHAT IS NORMAL? My conclusion? NO SUCH THING. Looking at the media, professional physicans and such everything is AVERAGE. Come on..average? What's that? Nobody is average, normal and in no way are people the same. Which is my point. Now looking back to the beginning. I passed one person for years in the hall almost everyday, this person sat behind me on some of these days with nothing more then a hi or hello between us. Well on a random ass day I decided to talk to this person and she happened to be a very cool person and happens to make me happier than anyone has in a LONG time. My real purpose of the post is to give you this advice. Dont be afraid to step out of that world you live in and be different. 


JSH

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Well since 3 people in the last 12 hours commented to me about how worthless my blogpost was yesterday here is a real one. First off thanks guys, you all seem to care and more people have my back and give me support then I realized and it means a lot to me. The last couple of weeks have shown to give me a lot of changes, not like super changes that will effect you guys or the ones close to me but changes that I see in myself and things that I see that are helping me. Such as the stress level has dropped and fuck, I've slept more in the last few days then I have in like 3 weeks. Thats a plus. I've been running/biking a ton lately and man that helps more than anything and clears my head. As for everything else? Things are great! I have the most amazing girlfriend in world and she's a big reason for my positive attitude on life, and not only that she's also a huge inspiration, understands me more than 98% of you ever will. Then I have Morgan, he's my running mate, my brother, best friend and all around hero. Dude thanks for everything, the support you've given me over the last year is incompairable to anything else. Even thought I helped u through a lot, I can't ever repay you for the support. Now I got sarah, she's prolly the closest thing I have to a sister, she's closer to me than my own sister by a long shot. I'm sure we're truly siblings seperated at birth and nobody's told us. We're there for each other no matter what the issue. Thanks Sarah without you earlier this year i wouldn't have made it this far, When you're at collage its gonna suck! Jesse, we've grown apart over the last couple years but man you're still the man, without you life wouldnt have been this fun! I miss you everyday we don't talk and I can't wait to see you at your wedding. As for everybody else? You all are inspiring and you help me more than anybody knows. I got an email a few weeks back from a girl about my age that I knew but only had talked to maybe once. She told me that my lyrics, blog posts and just inspiration created through my problems helped her to overcome the fear of asking for help in an addiciton. Now as of today she's 5 weeks clean and making it very well. Its things like that that keep me going and keep it my goal to help anyone who needs it. So thank you guys.

Jordan

Hey guys, on august 12th I'm launching a new website. Check out the preview here

Hello world, how is everyone today? I'm just kinda taking a Fuck the world day and getting things done. Lots of uncool stuff going on right now but as for me? I'm starting to get back to where I want to be...All that matters is that I have my friends behind me. Thanks to you guys! Morgan, Katelynn, Sarah, Alex, M!dg3t, everyone you guys rock!