Jordan Hewlett

Well officially I've started pre-writing for my own solo album which I hope to have finished by early 2011. Now this comes with the start of my involvement in the new Deficit album and of course work on a new Antix album. Its already official that the new Deficit record will drop in early April and the new Antix record wont be finished until late March and wont drop until Early to middle May. Crazy Shit. I'm just excited to be working on music again and doing what i love to do. A tour in May/June is already being discussed and Antix's new line up will be stellar and not fucked up like the last one. I'm mostly excited to finally get this solo stuff rolling. I've been trying for a long time to release music with no influences but my own. I already have a few songs ready to be recorded into demos and maybe even give you guys a sneak peak....maybe. You can follow all the progress of this project on my new website Jordan Hewlett.com. As for everything else? I'm just as usual loving life for the first time in years. But to my true followers, you already knew that. I hope everyone is doing well as the summer is nearing the end.

When this year (2010) started I really didn't know what was in store. The last almost 9 months now has been the fastest, life changing, and best 9 months of my life. I mean there are moments in the last 18 years that beat it hands down but as a whole...its been great. In the beginning of the year I simply feel apart and stayed broken for a long time. Around Late April, I met somebody who has changed the shit storm of a year. Katelynn is the best thing that has happened to me in almost 4 years..now you're like "Come on? 4 Years?" yes I'm serious. There aren't many people who can get close to me and when I let somebody close it's never really close. I just let them in enough for comfort. Well this list of people close to me is limited to about 4. Well the 4th added to that list is Katelynn. She's the most amazing, understanding and completely adorable person I've ever met. Nobody know's the secrets that I keep and nobody knows what's in my head. For 2 years I lost my grip on the other side of me that luckily nobody has seen in awhile. 26 months ago I got my grip and held on. Its was a rough ride and I couldn't have done it without the support and fight of others. I dug up the memories a couple months ago and have been working on the deepest, darkest, and most brutal lyrics I've ever written. Its going to be awhile before these surface for you're viewing but I'm telling you now. When I let katelynn into mylife it was my chance to start over, my chance to let all this pressure out and be who I've wanted to be for a long time. As I wrote out all this build of energy, depression, anger and just down right "fuck the world" it made things better. I still have the things that will always be there and I've come to realize this. I can say there has been a lot of growing up done and a lot of frustration but well worth it. There are 3 people I feel like i can tell anything. Jesse, Morgan and Katelynn. They are my support factor to me at this point and its great, I can't thank them enough for the support and for the hell they go through with me. But there is one step still missing to my Fixed state. But its happening in 9 days. I'm finally moving and finally getting away from the last big negative point in my life. My mother. Now I've never really talked about her and I'm not going to. End of story. Also the 501 people who read my last blog, and 612 people who read the one before that. You guys keep me alive and prove to me that you're really behind me, The support is huge Thank you all so much. 

Fix me is a song written by Jesse Hasek, Morgan Rose and myself. Its takes the view of the last year and throws it into a "Then to now" and the trials we've been through. I'm mostly responsable for the chorus where it says "I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the Friction, I'm right where I should be don't try and fix me" and that comes from the last year or so of me trying to find out who I am and where I am supposed to be. Now just recently as the song was being written I found that "Right where I should be" for now and am happy here. Tomorrow Aug 20th is my 26 months alchol free. I've been together with Katelynn for almost 3 months and I really couldn't be happier. Also with "Fix me" coming out on Aug 31st with Feeding the Wolves another song on that album called "I Blame You" was written about me by a close friend and his point of view of the last two years of the things I did and the things I went through and the things I put others around me through. It really got me thinking after listening to the song and reading the lyrics. I really put some people through hell along with putting myself through hell. So to those who the last 3 years of my life affected..I appologize.

You may pass a person everyday for 3 years and never anything but the occasional head nod or a "hello". You don't realize that the person sitting behind you without anything but occasional simple conversation could make you so happy. But you'll never know until you try and reach out. get out of that perfect world we all see and do something different...Where am I pulling this from? Look at yourself for one second and think..do you push to be different? at least 90% of you said no. Now why is that? Because nobody want's to be the outcast or looked down on for being different. No where does this person I talked about 5 sentances up come in? Wait a min. Somebody I talked to today called me strange and i needed to tone down the attitude and actions to become different..in my head I responed with FUCK YOU. All my life I've pushed and fought for what I believe and want/wanted..why? Because I'm tired of sterotyping, labeling and rumors. Somebody a month or 2 ago tried to put a tag on me...what did they come up with? Nothing. They had no real response to when I asked "What would you label me?" Right then and there I knew what I have been trying to do for ever has worked. Now back to the person calling me weird...this is a question asked all the time but really...WHAT IS NORMAL? My conclusion? NO SUCH THING. Looking at the media, professional physicans and such everything is AVERAGE. Come on..average? What's that? Nobody is average, normal and in no way are people the same. Which is my point. Now looking back to the beginning. I passed one person for years in the hall almost everyday, this person sat behind me on some of these days with nothing more then a hi or hello between us. Well on a random ass day I decided to talk to this person and she happened to be a very cool person and happens to make me happier than anyone has in a LONG time. My real purpose of the post is to give you this advice. Dont be afraid to step out of that world you live in and be different. 


JSH

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